Repeating negative patterns
”The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”Albert Einstein
If we don’t change how we respond to negative situations then how can we expect to be any happier?
Remember we are solely responsible for our own happiness.
Think now of a negative pattern that you would like to change. It doesn’t have to be a big one, it can be as simple as: how I drive to work, getting up in the morning or dealing with a stroppy sales attendant.
My pattern:
Now think of a new pattern that you can put in its place, a more empowering one that will bring you a new level of joy and freedom.
For example, sitting in a traffic jam, there’s nothing that you can do about it. No matter how much you curse, it’s not going to change the situation.
Perhaps next time, instead of swearing and getting annoyed that you’re wasting time, use the time to list all the things that you’re grateful in your life. You could plan your next trip away, catch up with old friends (provided, of course that you have a hands free car kit! ) You could choose to simply spend the time admiring the scenery. Or, my personal favourite, when I’m in a supermarket I will bring my Ipod with me and listen to my favourite music while I’m going about my least favourite task! Make a choice to respond in a positive way for you.
My new pattern:
Now make a decision to use these new more positive patterns in your day.
(Shilling , Swords 2008)
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
short & sweet
This week I am just going to let you ponder on 2 quotes which I feel will get you thinking. As such you can then apply your new perspective to your own life.
" Only 1 thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives.
Where we focus our attention" Greg Anderson
Where are you focusing your attention?
" In nature, nothing is perfect, and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful." Alice Walker
What is beautiful in your life?
" Only 1 thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives.
Where we focus our attention" Greg Anderson
Where are you focusing your attention?
" In nature, nothing is perfect, and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful." Alice Walker
What is beautiful in your life?
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Stress Release
Get a Solution to a Problem/Dilemma in times of stress or pressure.
This following technique is taken from Kinesiology.
When you are stressed, or under pressure, blood rushes from the front of your brain, to the back.
This is because the body responds to stress or pressure by pumping adrenaline, in order to activate our fight or flight response (back of the brain)
However, the front of our brain is where we think through issues, and use our logic and decision making abilities. If this is deprived of blood, then it is more difficult to feel calm, and think rationally.
All you need do to bring the blood back to the front of your brain in times of stress or pressure, is to place either your whole hand across your forehead, or your thumb and index finger just lightly on the bulge of your forehead.
Hey presto, stay like this for a few minutes, think of the difficulty or issue, and breath deeply.
You will either come up with a solution, or be in a better frame of mind to deal with the task ahead.
This following technique is taken from Kinesiology.
When you are stressed, or under pressure, blood rushes from the front of your brain, to the back.
This is because the body responds to stress or pressure by pumping adrenaline, in order to activate our fight or flight response (back of the brain)
However, the front of our brain is where we think through issues, and use our logic and decision making abilities. If this is deprived of blood, then it is more difficult to feel calm, and think rationally.
All you need do to bring the blood back to the front of your brain in times of stress or pressure, is to place either your whole hand across your forehead, or your thumb and index finger just lightly on the bulge of your forehead.
Hey presto, stay like this for a few minutes, think of the difficulty or issue, and breath deeply.
You will either come up with a solution, or be in a better frame of mind to deal with the task ahead.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
The Quick Coach" enables you to try out coaching techniques for yourself, without having to take too much time out to do it!
If you have a lot of tasks to do, and you write a 'to do' list, more often than not, by the end of the day, you can cross off all the jobs you completed. Much to your satisfaction.
To do lists work because you are giving your conscious mind explicit directions on what needs to be done, and your clever mind on both a conscious and subconscious level, will work hard at finding ways to get those tasks completed.
The same can be done daily, if you SET YOUR INTENTION FOR THE DAY AHEAD.
What this means is spending a few moments to decide how you want your day to go.
Think of what lies ahead, and say to yourself something like
If you have a lot of tasks to do, and you write a 'to do' list, more often than not, by the end of the day, you can cross off all the jobs you completed. Much to your satisfaction.
To do lists work because you are giving your conscious mind explicit directions on what needs to be done, and your clever mind on both a conscious and subconscious level, will work hard at finding ways to get those tasks completed.
The same can be done daily, if you SET YOUR INTENTION FOR THE DAY AHEAD.
What this means is spending a few moments to decide how you want your day to go.
Think of what lies ahead, and say to yourself something like
- I intend to enjoy the drive to work
- I intend to spend 3 mins deep breathing at my desk.
- I intend to remain calm in my meeting at 3pm.................................
Whatever it is you want for yourself, to feel, or do, or say, or enjoy, try setting your intention.
You are setting up your internal checklist, and directing your subconscious on how your day will go.
Remember, the internal messages you give your brain directly affects the results you get.
Direct your brain to getting the most from each day, one day at a time, and see how you fare!
Until next time!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
"The Quick Coach" enables you to try out coaching techniques for yourself, without having to take too much time out to do it!
Quick De-Stressor
Are you ready to scream?
Are you close to tears?
Do you feel exhausted?
(Even if you can't close your eyes, this is effective)
Close your eyes, and breath in one deep breath while saying to yourself - "calm"
Breath out one long breath, while saying to yourself - "love"
Repeat for a few moments, and feel yourself beginning to come back to an even keel.
You can say whatever words you want, for eg, peace, joy, smile, relax, whatever suits you and what state of feeling you want to achieve.
Quick De-Stressor
Are you ready to scream?
Are you close to tears?
Do you feel exhausted?
(Even if you can't close your eyes, this is effective)
Close your eyes, and breath in one deep breath while saying to yourself - "calm"
Breath out one long breath, while saying to yourself - "love"
Repeat for a few moments, and feel yourself beginning to come back to an even keel.
You can say whatever words you want, for eg, peace, joy, smile, relax, whatever suits you and what state of feeling you want to achieve.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
The Quick Coach
" The Quick Coach" enables you to try out coaching techniques for yourself, without having to take too much time out to do it.
For those of you on the go, here are a few ideas for finding your ideal partner!
For those of you on the go, here are a few ideas for finding your ideal partner!
- Whether you are in a relationship, not in one, or just out of one, I want you to examine your past loves, your past losses. What were the similarities, what were the differences between these relationships?.
More importantly, who were YOU in each relationship? - What qualities would you like your ideal partner to have, and what qualities do you bring to a relationship.
If you don’t know what you are looking for, how can you find it?
It is important to realise what qualities you want a partner to have. - But its also important to know how do you want to feel in a relationship?
- So if you are single, or in a relationship, take some time to think about how exactly you want to feel in the presence of a lover. This is important, because I believe that with a partner, it is important for you to feel comfortable in expressing all aspects of yourself, even the contradictory aspects – strong and weak, sexy and slovenly, energetic and lazy, clever and silly, humorous and cross.
What are your different sides? Who are you? What makes you happy, what makes you sad? What makes you feel alive? What gets you jumping out of bed in the morning?
What gets you jumping into bed?
What needs, desires, and wishes do you want a / your relationship to fulfil?
Think back to your different past relationships. Were you the same person in each relationship? Was your character the same with each partner? Were you more outgoing with Joe than with Jack? Did you feel sexier with Dave than with Ben? Were you in awe of Claire, and more bossy with Sue? - So whether you are single or attached, take some time to just examine who you are in a relationship. Who do you want to be in a relationship?
Then you are more likely to either find what you are looking for, or be more happy, or more decided about a current relationship.
Thats all from The Quick Coach
Enjoy your Discovery!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
The Quick Coach
You cannot control your world. But you can control your reaction to it.
And that is the most powerful tool of all.
Set yourself a goal for the following week !
Questions to break down your goal
Can I do this tomorrow?
If no, your next question is, what would I have to get done first?
Goals - Physical health, breathing, stretching, friends & family, tasks, living space, hobbies, activities, big, small.
What is your goal? What will you do? When? How? how will you know when you've achieved your goal?
Questions to break down your goal
Can I do this tomorrow?
If no, your next question is, what would I have to get done first?
Goals - Physical health, breathing, stretching, friends & family, tasks, living space, hobbies, activities, big, small.
What is your goal? What will you do? When? How? how will you know when you've achieved your goal?
What is your motivation?
What will be your reward?
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Life review: Reclaim Your Life Exuberance
Life Review
We all, at different times, complain about our lives, our relationships our stressful job, our low finances.
From a Life Coaching perspective, it is more empowering to look instead at what we are complaining about and consider what we can actually do about it.
You will find below a set of questions that when you answer, will empower you with an overview of your needs, wants, desires and areas of your life that you wish to change, improve or maintain.
I am looking at 2008 as the Year of Infinite Possibilities.
In fact I have been saying this to all of my friends and colleagues. When I say it, their faces actually light up as they consider the possibilities of what that means for them.
Then reality bites back, doubt sets in, past experience clouds over their face and the spark goes.
Does that spark have to go? What is stopping us from believing that this is a year of infinite possibilities? How much more empowered will you be if you tell yourself each morning that today you can do one small thing, take one small step to achieving your dream, your goal, your ambition, and happiness?
Would you agree that it is better to take one small step towards your heart’s desire, than stand still and see the same scenery?
So I invite you now to take one small step with me.
Go grab a pen and paper and answer the questions below.
As a Life Coach I ask my clients questions that get them to take a new perspective on their life. You may read the questions and think that the answers are obvious.
But it is important that you write down the answers.
Don’t just think about the answer.
You will be surprised, I guarantee it, about the answers you will discover for yourself when you begin to write down your answers.
You don’t have to answer them all in the one go. Take a few at a time and answer them. You have a whole month until my next newsletter, so no panic!
The questions will help you identify what you want. And what you don’t want. They will identify where and with whom you are using your energy, and from this you can see if you want to redirect your focus and energy.
The questions will set you on the track to taking control of your own happiness because the questions will help you identify your options and therefore your choices.
Remember, if you don’t consider what it is you are unhappy or happy about, how can you set about improving your situation.
So let’s start:
1. List 10 things you enjoy doing (beside each one write down the last time you did it)
For example - Do you enjoy dancing /swimming/ice-skating /mountain climbing /hill walking /partying /walking by the sea/writing /singing /surfing /redecorating / moving house /travelling /getting a promotion /art /photography /pottery /volunteer work/horse riding?
2. How/when can you do more of these activities?
3. When was the last time you laughed? What makes you laugh and how can you laugh more?
4. What can you be thankful for in your life? How can you experience that on a continued basis? How can you get more of it? – Include even the smallest things, for e.g., for me it’s a good cup of coffee in the morning!
5. What emotions do you feel on a regular basis? Which do you want to increase and how?
6. Which emotions do you want to feel less of and how can you do that?
7. Who or what do you love most? Are you spending enough time with them, if not, how can you increase your time together, even by as little as half an hour?
8. Who has / where is the information that will help you get what you want? When are you going to ask them / contact them?
9. What one thing can you do for yourself each day to help or maintain your health?
If you are not coming up with answers to these questions (or you are and they are negative) you may be in the habit of limiting yourself and putting blocks and boundaries in front of yourself.
Let’s be honest – if you believe something is impossible – well then it is – because you will not take even one single step towards getting it.
Therefore you never will get it.
Once you have answered these questions I want you to review them.
What have you noticed about your answers? Are you now able to identify what makes you happy and what makes you unhappy? Are you able to identify your choices and the areas where you feel you have no choice? What can you do about these situations?
What small changes you can make in your life?
Leave it a few days and come back to review your answers again. This gives your subconscious a chance to process the information. When you review your answers a new idea may come to you. Your perspective may have shifted slightly and you realise something you didn’t realise before.
From your answers you will now be empowered with valuable information about how you want to live your life, what is important to you, and what it is not so important for you.
Awareness is one of the most powerful tools we can equip ourselves with. Awareness brings Empowerment. That sometimes may be frightening, other times liberating.
You can sign up for my free newsletter by going to http://www.nlplifecoachireland.com/.
Keep taking those tiny steps!! Allow your scenery to change!
We all, at different times, complain about our lives, our relationships our stressful job, our low finances.
From a Life Coaching perspective, it is more empowering to look instead at what we are complaining about and consider what we can actually do about it.
You will find below a set of questions that when you answer, will empower you with an overview of your needs, wants, desires and areas of your life that you wish to change, improve or maintain.
I am looking at 2008 as the Year of Infinite Possibilities.
In fact I have been saying this to all of my friends and colleagues. When I say it, their faces actually light up as they consider the possibilities of what that means for them.
Then reality bites back, doubt sets in, past experience clouds over their face and the spark goes.
Does that spark have to go? What is stopping us from believing that this is a year of infinite possibilities? How much more empowered will you be if you tell yourself each morning that today you can do one small thing, take one small step to achieving your dream, your goal, your ambition, and happiness?
Would you agree that it is better to take one small step towards your heart’s desire, than stand still and see the same scenery?
So I invite you now to take one small step with me.
Go grab a pen and paper and answer the questions below.
As a Life Coach I ask my clients questions that get them to take a new perspective on their life. You may read the questions and think that the answers are obvious.
But it is important that you write down the answers.
Don’t just think about the answer.
You will be surprised, I guarantee it, about the answers you will discover for yourself when you begin to write down your answers.
You don’t have to answer them all in the one go. Take a few at a time and answer them. You have a whole month until my next newsletter, so no panic!
The questions will help you identify what you want. And what you don’t want. They will identify where and with whom you are using your energy, and from this you can see if you want to redirect your focus and energy.
The questions will set you on the track to taking control of your own happiness because the questions will help you identify your options and therefore your choices.
Remember, if you don’t consider what it is you are unhappy or happy about, how can you set about improving your situation.
So let’s start:
1. List 10 things you enjoy doing (beside each one write down the last time you did it)
For example - Do you enjoy dancing /swimming/ice-skating /mountain climbing /hill walking /partying /walking by the sea/writing /singing /surfing /redecorating / moving house /travelling /getting a promotion /art /photography /pottery /volunteer work/horse riding?
2. How/when can you do more of these activities?
3. When was the last time you laughed? What makes you laugh and how can you laugh more?
4. What can you be thankful for in your life? How can you experience that on a continued basis? How can you get more of it? – Include even the smallest things, for e.g., for me it’s a good cup of coffee in the morning!
5. What emotions do you feel on a regular basis? Which do you want to increase and how?
6. Which emotions do you want to feel less of and how can you do that?
7. Who or what do you love most? Are you spending enough time with them, if not, how can you increase your time together, even by as little as half an hour?
8. Who has / where is the information that will help you get what you want? When are you going to ask them / contact them?
9. What one thing can you do for yourself each day to help or maintain your health?
If you are not coming up with answers to these questions (or you are and they are negative) you may be in the habit of limiting yourself and putting blocks and boundaries in front of yourself.
Let’s be honest – if you believe something is impossible – well then it is – because you will not take even one single step towards getting it.
Therefore you never will get it.
Once you have answered these questions I want you to review them.
What have you noticed about your answers? Are you now able to identify what makes you happy and what makes you unhappy? Are you able to identify your choices and the areas where you feel you have no choice? What can you do about these situations?
What small changes you can make in your life?
Leave it a few days and come back to review your answers again. This gives your subconscious a chance to process the information. When you review your answers a new idea may come to you. Your perspective may have shifted slightly and you realise something you didn’t realise before.
From your answers you will now be empowered with valuable information about how you want to live your life, what is important to you, and what it is not so important for you.
Awareness is one of the most powerful tools we can equip ourselves with. Awareness brings Empowerment. That sometimes may be frightening, other times liberating.
You can sign up for my free newsletter by going to http://www.nlplifecoachireland.com/.
Keep taking those tiny steps!! Allow your scenery to change!
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Life Vitality
Emotions/feelings - create Thoughts - create behaviour - create emotions...............
Have you ever wondered ,why, when you are stressed, busy, or overloaded you do some things that you are unsure of why you did them, and you don’t do things that you think you should?
If our emotions are the basis of our thoughts and emotions, then in order to empower and nurture ourselves it is important to explore that base.
If we don’t tune into our body, our feelings, then we are missing part of the sequence.
We are functioning at the level of thought, while not giving attention to the basis of that thought.
Our behaviour then reflects this (anger over small things, feeling frustration and not knowing the cause, jumpy or erratic movements, for example) and our body starts giving us signs in the form of ill health or minor ailments in order to try and grab our attention to bring our attention back into our body.
So how can we fully explore this sequence in order to allow ourselves have optimum health and life vitality.
When you are going to sleep, place your hands one beside the other over your stomach area (this will cover your solar plexus and sacral chakras)
Think over your day and allow yourself to release any negative thoughts, feelings, experience or people from your body, feel, see or hear the negativity leave your body and aura.
When you have done that, scan your body with your minds eye and feel how your body is feeling.
What emotions are you feeling?
Where are you holding these emotions in your body?
Focus in on that body part where you are feeling/holding the emotion.
Imagine a beautiful white light coming into that area, and slowly dissolving that feeling, that emotion that you are holding in your body.
Feel it leaving your body as the white healing light floods the area, bringing with it feelings of peace, calm and relaxation.
Have you ever wondered ,why, when you are stressed, busy, or overloaded you do some things that you are unsure of why you did them, and you don’t do things that you think you should?
If our emotions are the basis of our thoughts and emotions, then in order to empower and nurture ourselves it is important to explore that base.
If we don’t tune into our body, our feelings, then we are missing part of the sequence.
We are functioning at the level of thought, while not giving attention to the basis of that thought.
Our behaviour then reflects this (anger over small things, feeling frustration and not knowing the cause, jumpy or erratic movements, for example) and our body starts giving us signs in the form of ill health or minor ailments in order to try and grab our attention to bring our attention back into our body.
So how can we fully explore this sequence in order to allow ourselves have optimum health and life vitality.
When you are going to sleep, place your hands one beside the other over your stomach area (this will cover your solar plexus and sacral chakras)
Think over your day and allow yourself to release any negative thoughts, feelings, experience or people from your body, feel, see or hear the negativity leave your body and aura.
When you have done that, scan your body with your minds eye and feel how your body is feeling.
What emotions are you feeling?
Where are you holding these emotions in your body?
Focus in on that body part where you are feeling/holding the emotion.
Imagine a beautiful white light coming into that area, and slowly dissolving that feeling, that emotion that you are holding in your body.
Feel it leaving your body as the white healing light floods the area, bringing with it feelings of peace, calm and relaxation.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Unique GOAL SETTING Workshop
Sat 9th & 16th Feb
10am - 1pm
Cost E90
Airfield, Dundrum
Combining Life Coaching and Yoga in a unique formula to help you
SET and ACHIEVE your Goals
Sharon Swords is an accredited Life Coach and NLP Practitioner who facilitates her clients in making positive life changes.
Sibylle Dallmann YTTC,ITEC is a qualified Yoga Master who has taught Yoga internationally.
Together they have devised a unique Goal Setting course that combines the empowering techniques of Life Coaching with the ancient wisdom of Yoga
SHARON SWORDS 087 6380591
sharon@nlplifecoachireland.com
Combining Life Coaching and Yoga in a unique formula to help you
SET and ACHIEVE your Goals
Sharon Swords is an accredited Life Coach and NLP Practitioner who facilitates her clients in making positive life changes.
Sibylle Dallmann YTTC,ITEC is a qualified Yoga Master who has taught Yoga internationally.
Together they have devised a unique Goal Setting course that combines the empowering techniques of Life Coaching with the ancient wisdom of Yoga
SHARON SWORDS 087 6380591
sharon@nlplifecoachireland.com
Monday, January 7, 2008
Do not judge a book by it’s cover, the old saying goes. This means never to judge someone on first impressions. Hard not to do , I know. But I would like to add to that saying–
Do not judge a book by it’s cover - nor - even after having read the page of contents should you decide whether or not to proceed further.
Often the most pleasurable of souls takes time to discover, to fully flourish in the eyes of another.
So by this I mean always give some-one a chance, they are just as good as you. And even if your soul and theirs can never be friends, you will have learned from the experience, and you will be a better read yourself!
888888888888888888888888888888888
I have it back
That which I thought I had lost
I hold it in my hands
Cupped in my warm security
I hold it to my lips
It gives me breath
That which I hold
Is a sense of myself.
Do not judge a book by it’s cover - nor - even after having read the page of contents should you decide whether or not to proceed further.
Often the most pleasurable of souls takes time to discover, to fully flourish in the eyes of another.
So by this I mean always give some-one a chance, they are just as good as you. And even if your soul and theirs can never be friends, you will have learned from the experience, and you will be a better read yourself!
888888888888888888888888888888888
I have it back
That which I thought I had lost
I hold it in my hands
Cupped in my warm security
I hold it to my lips
It gives me breath
That which I hold
Is a sense of myself.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
2008
The Year of Infinite Possibilities
Welcome to my first entry for 2008. The number 8 is the infinity sign, and this year promises to be a year when your dreams can move into reality and your aspirations become the breath in your lungs that gives you strength each day.
Unbind yourself from the negative speakers who say that you cannot achieve that which you want to. Yes you may have to work hard, try many different ways and continue to believe undoubtedly in yourself even though you may feel you have failed.
But it is better to do one small thing every day to get you nearer to joy, nearer to your dreams than to spend time convincing yourself that your dream is impossible.
Remember:
As you walk your own unique path, you experience Truth, Love and Freedom.
May 2008 be the year when you discover how truly powerful you really are.
May joy underpin your decisions, and love light your path.
The Year of Infinite Possibilities
Welcome to my first entry for 2008. The number 8 is the infinity sign, and this year promises to be a year when your dreams can move into reality and your aspirations become the breath in your lungs that gives you strength each day.
Unbind yourself from the negative speakers who say that you cannot achieve that which you want to. Yes you may have to work hard, try many different ways and continue to believe undoubtedly in yourself even though you may feel you have failed.
But it is better to do one small thing every day to get you nearer to joy, nearer to your dreams than to spend time convincing yourself that your dream is impossible.
Remember:
As you walk your own unique path, you experience Truth, Love and Freedom.
May 2008 be the year when you discover how truly powerful you really are.
May joy underpin your decisions, and love light your path.
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